The Ocarina of Time But Different
by TheOminousWriterOfDoom
Summary: Rewrite! This is the rewrite of my original fic for this site. It's a simple story following the plot of OOT. Enjoy!


Good morning! Or night… I have no track of time. My name's TheOminousWriterOfDoom and I'm rewriting this story due to the "no scripts" rule.

Disclaimer: The Legend of Zelda is the property of Nintendo, which is the property of Earth, which is the property of the solar system, which is the property of the galaxy and so on. But the point is that I don't own it.

Without further adieu, I present to you the rewrite of,

The Legend of Zelda The Ocarina of Time… But Different!

This story began in an expansive forest inhabited by a race of children. Yes, children. Well, sort of… never mind.

A tragic voice rang forth crying, "Oh, Navi, where art thou? Come hither… oh, never mind. This voice is _really_ stupid… what am I anyway, some stupid tree who got stuck in a renaissance fair?"

A fairy answered this tree's call and flew out of the vast forest. She replied in complete sympathy and love for the tree.

"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT TIME IT IS?!"

Well, she replied anyway.

The tree thought about his answer and then came to a realization. "No, I ran out of fruit to drop on that bouncy thing that tells time."

"The gossip stone?" Said the fairy.

"Yeah, that little dude. Enlighten me, what time _is_ it?" Said the tree.

"I dunno, I ran out of fruit to drop on the gossip stone." Replied the fairy.

There was a moment's silence.

The tree blinked and said, "Shut up, Navi."

"Sorry, Deku Tree," Navi said, "but it was a good bad joke."

The Deku tree decided to let Navi get away with that waste of a stupid joke. "Yeah… so, just go find that kid," he said.

Navi stared for a moment and came to a harsh realization. "EVERYONE WHO LIVES HERE IS A KID!!!"

"Oh, right, slipped my mind."

"So, which one, that guy who can't pick up a rock? That girl who has the messed up hair color? That little arrogant guy who pretends he has leadership skills? WHICH ONE!!??"

As you can all see, Navi was an angry fairy.

"You know, that _one_."__

"Just tell me before I die of old age, okay?"

"The one who has no fairy."

Navi turned to the audience. "NOW HE TELLS ME!!!"

The tree coughed. "Be quick, Navi! I've been cursed!"

"I'll curse _you_…" Navi replied, setting off on her dangerous journey. The fairy flew around the forest village, realizing she had no idea where the heck she was headed. She then proceeded to bump into a fence.

"Hey! I'm not _that_ bad!" The fairy exclaimed.

"Hey, it's not my fault, I just wrote it. Well, it is my fault." Said TheOminousWriterOfDoom.

"Don't make me do… _something_!"

"Like what?"

"I dunno. I don't back up my threats."

"You know, half the writers of other fics kill you off before now…"

The fairy gulped. Death would seriously impede her ability to live. "Well, you see the problem withGOTTAGOBYE!!!"

Navi quickly flew into the first house she could find. She saw inside a boy sleeping. She then looked outside at the sun in the sky. "He's sleeping. In the late afternoon."

The boy snored loudly. He turned over and, of course, fell out of the bed. But, strangely enough, he was still fast asleep.

"HEY KID! WAKE THE CRAP UP!" The fairy screamed at the top of her lungs. "Who _i_s this kid?" She exclaimed. She then proceeded to bop him on the head with a large frying pan she got from out of nowhere. "He's still asleep? You made me do this kid… Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! NIGHTMARE! NIGHTMARE!!!" The kid yelped, jumping up from his sleep.

His awakening startled Navi. She hesitated, but spoke. "What? What nightmare?" She said.

"First… there was this guy who tried to kill me… but then… the worst part! There was this evil lightbulb annoying the crap out of me! Hey… Listen… If I EVER hear those words as a sentence again, I swear to god, I'll kill whoever says it…"

"Uhh… The Deku Tree summoned you."

"Oh, cool."

Link and Navi walked to the Deku Tree's alcove in the forest. Unfortunately, they met up with an annoying kid blocking the way.

"Mido's my name, being annoying's my game!"

"Let us through, okay. And don't follow us." Navi said.

Mido looked at Navi apprehensively. "Oh, I guess you two don't have a players guide. Go get the sword and shield. Now." He said.

"Okay!" Said Link.

The fairy looked at the script and then at the two boys. "Aren't you two gonna insult each other or something?"

"Oh, yeah, the thing is, I just woke up. I'm too tired to insult people."

"Isn't it, like, three o clock?"

" I dunno, I ran outta fruit to drop on that bouncy thing that tells time."

Navi replied, annoyed, "Doesn't anyone ever know the time around here?"

Link looked to Navi. "Oh, hold on." Link was about to look at his watch when Navi smashed it with another frying pan.

"HEY! DON'T RUIN THE RUNNING GAG!" She exclaimed.

"But you guys needed the…" Link started.

Mido interjected. "You really _are_ stupid Mr. No-Fairy!"

"When I get that sword…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

Navi and Link went through trials so tough that they were too tough to explain here. At the end of their path, they found the sword. Then they went to Mido's house and stole his shield. They returned to Mido and once again started conversation.

"Is that the Kokiri sword? And… is that my…"

At that point, Link knocked out Mido with a sleeper hold.

Startled, Navi replied. "When'd you learn to do that?"

"I have a lot of free time." Said Link.

"Ever heard of _work_?"

"Nope."

Navi and dumples… Link… continued to the Deku Tree's alcove. When there, Link started an engaging conversation.

"WASSUUUUUUP?!"

Well, a conversation anyway.

The Deku Tree responded. "Not much shakin' homie g. Oh, 'cept for this little curse thingy…"

"Cool." Said Link.

"NOT COOL!" Exclaimed Navi.

"Oh, shut up Navi, it's right awesome. So, Link, I'm going to have to eat you."

"Whee?" Link apprehensively said.

"And Navi, too."

"I better get paid for this…" Said the angry fairy.

So that's about all for chapter one. I'm annoyed about having to rewrite this, but oh well. A living's a living.

Wait… I don't get paid for this.

Review!


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